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1  The Pogo Hideout / Pogo Hideout News / Re: Members please read on: June 25, 2009, 12:29:15 am
ill do it also, but i wont beablke to start posting, 10 a day until im done with my forums
2  Other / Get your funny here / WHY? on: June 21, 2009, 12:47:38 pm
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy booze when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Why did kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
3  Other / Get your funny here / anti bush bumper stickers on: June 21, 2009, 12:47:03 pm
1. Bush: End of an Error

2. That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

3. Let's Fix Democracy in this Country First

4. If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

5. Bush, Like a Rock - Only Dumber.

6. If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

7. Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant

8. Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

9. George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

10. Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blow Jobs Anymore

11. America: One Nation, Under Surveillance

12. They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It

13. Who's God Do You Kill For?

14. Jail to the Chief

15. No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq ?

16. Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full of Crap

17. Bad President! No Banana.

18. We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

19. We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

20. Is It Vietnam Yet?

21. Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either

22. Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Hand Basket?

23. You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.

24. Dub ya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too

25. When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

26. Pray For Impeachment

27. The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

28. What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand?

29. One Nation Under Clod

30. 2004: Embarrassed. 2005: Horrified. 2006: Terrified

31. Bush Never Exhaled

32. At Least Nixon Resigned
 
4  Other / Get your funny here / magic mirror on: June 21, 2009, 12:46:15 pm
There was this bar and in the bar there were magic mirrors.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
5  Other / Get your funny here / blonde jokes on: June 21, 2009, 12:45:52 pm
Blonde Computer User

Question: ..How can you tell when a blonde has been using a computer?

Answer: ..There's white-out all over the screen.

 

At The Doctor's Office

A gorgeous young redhead went into a doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" the doctor said. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her hip and screamed. Then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

 

A Blonde Wins

A blonde walked into the Bank of New York City and asked for the loan officer. She explained him that she's going to Europe on vacation for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The loan officer said the bank requires some sort of security for the loan.

The blonde offered him the keys to a brand new Rolls Royce. The car was parked in front of the bank and the loan officer inspected it and it's registration. Everything was in order so the bank he accepted the car as collateral and gave the blonde $5,000.

As she left, everyone in the bank started snickering at her for using a $250,000 car to secure a $5,000 loan. After the laughter died down, the loan officer got into the Rolls and parked it in the bank's underground parking lot.

Two weeks later the blonde returned and paid back the loan as well as the interest, which was $15.41.

As she handed over the money the loan officer said, "Miss, the bank was very happy to do business with you but we're a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked your credit standing and found out that you are a millionaire several times over. Why then would you bother to take out a loan for $5,000?"

The blonde smiled and replied, "Where else in New York could I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I returned?"

 

The Blonde Takes the Bet

Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and looked up at the TV over the bar. The 10:00 o'clock news was on covering a story about a man preparing to jump off the ledge of a ten story building.

The blonde looked at Homer and says, "Do you think he will jump?"

Homer said, "You know, I bet he will."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Homer placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the man on the ledge did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to Homer saying: "All is fair. Here's your money."

Home replied, " I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde nodded her head, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

 

Blonde Carpenters

Becky and Sally Ann were two blondes doing carpentry work on a house.

Becky, who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."

Sally Ann sighed and shook her head, "Becky, those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

 




SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

 

I'M BLONDE, NOT STUPID!

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me....... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.

 
RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

 

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, he trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

 

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

"You can't land on the sun! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

 

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.

She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.

Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

 

FINAL EXAM

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.

"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

 

Blonde Kidnapper

A blonde woman with financial troubles decided to kidnap a child and demand ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

"I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a paper bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed, The Blonde"

She pinned the note to the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note:

"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"

 

 
Blonde missing something

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other, and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the blonde a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."
6  Other / Get your funny here / mathematics of people on: June 21, 2009, 12:45:15 pm
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

 

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

 

LOOKS

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and say, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

7  Other / Get your funny here / job resume on: June 21, 2009, 12:44:47 pm
My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack but I couldn't hack it so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried being a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it because it was a sew-sew job.

Next I tried working in a Muffler Factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a Chef, figuring it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a Deli Worker but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was a Musician but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a Doctor but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a Professional Fisherman but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB
8  Other / Gaming / Games on: June 21, 2009, 12:43:19 pm
What are your favorite games?

Mine:

God of war
GTA4
COD4
And more id remember
9  Other / Gaming / Re: Consoles on: June 21, 2009, 12:42:38 pm
PS3
xBox
xBoc 360
xBox 360 ELITE
Playstation
Playstation 2(first one)
Playtstation 2(slim)
PSP
Sega
Nintendo Wii
Nintendo 64
10  Other / Sports / National Sports Discussion on: June 21, 2009, 12:41:26 pm
Talk about sports in other countries here
11  Other / Sports / Re: Whats your favorite on: June 21, 2009, 12:41:01 pm
Football

NFL - Patriots, Falcons, Raiders, and the Eagles
NCAA - UofM(Michigan Wolverines)
12  Other / World News / My city made it on MSNBC and other news channels acrosss the country on: June 21, 2009, 12:39:21 pm
Grand Rapids, Mich.

Massive storms hit us, and flooded the B-93 birthday bash, so they had to cancekl, it, B93BB has been an every year thing....

13  Other / World News / Re: Truck bomb kills more than 70 in northern Iraq on: June 21, 2009, 12:38:22 pm
dang
14  Other / World News / Re: Rockets hit US base at Bagram, kill 2 US troops on: June 21, 2009, 12:38:09 pm
dang
15  Pogo / Pogo in General / Re: Your Badges on: June 21, 2009, 12:37:36 pm
none
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